What we won't do

Cross-post from my blog:

We won't tell you that kids who become victims of online predators are usually engaging in risky online behaviors like going to sexual sites and chat rooms. It's weird to admit that adolescents are interested in that kind of stuff.

We won't ask to see what sites you're visiting or look at your chat logs from public chat rooms. We might see something that makes us uncomfortable.

We won't provide an open door to talk if you're a teenage boy questioning your sexuality, even though a quarter of online predators are looking for boys and it's often hard for gay teens to know what to do. It might be too controversial.

Sorry, kids! We just won't do the things we ought to do to help keep you safe.

Here's what we will do:

We will tell you that it's super super important to keep your name and pictures offline, even though research shows that has no effect on the likelihood of you being solicited. It's easy to teach simple solutions even if they don't work.

We will filter your internet use in school so that we don't have to deal with your risky online behaviors. We're not liable for what you do at home, and we'd rather not know.

We will take drastic steps to protect under-13s, even though they represent a ridiculously tiny fraction of online sex abuse cases and are much more at risk from predatory relatives and people they know than strangers online. It makes us feel like we are accomplishing something.

We will pretend that online predators are usually people who pretend to be young then stalk and kidnap you, even though the vast majority of online predators tell you they're adults looking for sex and very few online sex abuse cases involve forced abduction. We prefer to ignore the uncomfortable truth.

Tags: safety

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Permalink Reply by Sue Palmer on December 3, 2007 at 8:02pm

Jeremy,

Thanks for the thoughtful article and the links. I am guilty of some of the above, for sure, especially the anonymous postings. I encourage students who participate in the forum in the Maze to have user names. Maybe it just makes me feel better!

For sure, I'll be thinking about this! Tks.

Sue P.

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Permalink Reply by Ed Jones on December 4, 2007 at 9:34am

This is rather good writing.

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Permalink Reply by Connie Weber on December 5, 2007 at 7:26am

Jeremy, those are useful references, ones that are helpful in dispelling mythology.

I'm saving all your links to del.icio.us. They'll be helpful for some of the work we're doing in class. Thanks for de-mystifying things and taking a stand.

What I want to hear now is the positive side: what we WILL (should) do. Can you put that into words?

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Permalink Reply by Jeremy Aldrich on December 5, 2007 at 10:40am

Hehe...yes, you're right that I tend to get discouraged. I'm going to flesh this out more later, but from what I'm reading here are the best ways for kids to keep themselves safe from online sex abuse: don't put people you don't know on your chat buddy lists, visit sites that your parents have no problems with and occasionally go over your internet history with your parents, talk about sexuality with safe people (teachers, parents, youth workers) and not with unknown people online (would it help to imagine it could be your grandma you're chatting with?), be aware of grooming techniques. For adults: let them know what they can do to protect themselves (empowerment, not scare tactics), set an atmosphere of transparency and regularly review internet activity, be a "safe place" for sex and relationship talk and be willing to gently initiate difficult conversations, and let kids know what you'd like them to do if they are solicited, if they feel they're in over their heads, or if they're tempted to do things they shouldn't. What am I missing here?

Just a few thoughts as I sit here at the Virginia Ed Tech Leadership Conference with butterflies in my stomach about presenting (on SL and Partnership for 21st century skills) later this afternoon.

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Permalink Reply by Connie Weber on December 6, 2007 at 5:39am

Jeremy,

Thanks--that's the best, most succinctly stated "operating manual for new-age learning" I've seen.

I'd like to see it extended outwards beyond avoiding sex abuse to just safety and sensibility in general. Another paragraph might be about learning to evaluate what's quality information and what's not.

With your permission, I'll copy this post and share it with colleagues. Also, I'll discuss it with my 4th/5th grade class, in a serious "let's gather together, group, and go over our guidelines" talk. It will be good to share with parents as well.

In class, we've got a ning network going, and are now deeply immersed in a digital learning environment. By the way, you should see the students' current debate about use of Wikipedia in school. They are overwhelmingly for its use, and counsel each other back and forth about the proper ways to use it. And Wikipedia is only one of the resources being discussed. Uses of resources in general are being discussed and evaluated. Also, we're trying to figure out how "open" to be as we start a new network. Who should be invited to "come on"? Should kids have screen names--and how revealing should those names be? Does it matter? What information should not appear in profiles, and what is just fine?

How'd the Ed Tech Leadership Conference go?

Thanks for advice and ideas.

Meanwhile, is it ok to use that paragraph as an operating manual? Does anyone have things to add to it?