Buying a New Laptop - HELP!

Ok, because I value your input so much, I'm coming here before starting to read reviews and ratings.........
I'm planning on buying a new laptop in the next 6 months (hopefully before this one dies!) and need input/suggestions. I'm currently using a Dell Inspiron 2600 that I bought in college and it's getting slower and slower, doesn't have an internal wireless card, battery dies in minutes, etc.
Here's what I need/will use it for:
1) NON-Mac (with all respect to Mac users, this isn't up for debate!)
2) Picture storage
3) Microsoft Office
4) Internet (obviously!) with many web 2.0 tools and accompanying programs installed
5) Wireless capability
5) Hope to begin podcasting, so decent audio capabilities
6) Decent to excellent battery
7) Under $2000 (US)
8) Gaming NOT important

Thanks so much, I have faith that you'll lead me in the right direction!