Pruning Again

I’ve come to the conclusion that I spend way too much time online. Some of it’s for work, some of it’s for fun, and some of it is for professional development. Some of it is very valuable, some not so much. It’s starting become like the TV or the phone were in the past - another way to stay over-busy, distract myself, avoid other things. It doesn’t keep me in the house, now that I have a great laptop, but it keeps me unavailable for other important activities that could engage me in a more fruitful or healthy way.

I’ve been feeling both excited by and yet almost resentful of the amazing things I read about in so many blogs, on Twitter, and the like. Part of me feels I have to be super-involved in the online community and edublogosphere if I’m going to stay current and authentic professionally. I know I’m inexperienced in that world and have lots to learn about it. I see the potential of all the cool tools people blog about. However, I also find myself wondering how these amazing educators can possibly do so many great things, develop their talents, and still have lives offline, given all the conferences they lead, Tweets they post, uStreams they watch, Skype calls they make, blog posts they write, etc. (It probably just seems like they are online 24/7 because I think they actually do have families, churches, and friends.) Some of these folks are no longer in the classroom, so that explains their time usage a bit… Please know that I’m not criticizing anyone here; I’m just forced to take note of what I’ve observed and then determine whether I want to spend more and more time online to keep up with all that, or pull back and live a little more in the F2F world. Which skills do I want to develop? Who do I want to become? What’s most important?

All the past few years’ time in front of the screen has started to make me (1) fatter LOL ; (2) feel like I’m constantly working; and (3) dissatisfied with my tiny little tech job. On the first count, it’s obvious I ought to take a couple of hours from the computer and transfer it to the elliptical. On the second point, I’ve already said web doesn’t equal work, it’s just my way of managing it that’s starting to feel like it.

And finally, on the third count, I’ve known for a few years that I have a great field and I want to expand in it. But struggling to incorporate so many of the awesome Web 2.0 things I read about is just that–a struggle. I can only do many of them if I run a virtual guantlet to figure out how to ethically and professionally “beat the system” (internet filters, budgets, time constraints). Pushing, hard work, effort, and challenges are all good things. But should it be sucking the life out of me and making me dissatisfied where there’s no reason to be? Teaching is exhausting enough without the added pressure to innovate weekly. I need to put the job and the internet back in their proper perspective.

A few years ago I was a participant in and leading several building-level teams when I realized that although much of that work was valuable on many levels, it wasn’t actually making me a better person or a better teacher. So I resigned most of them and went about putting my attentions back onto my small sphere of influence: my classroom and my friends & family. I feel that same way now. I think it’s time to shift priorities and put my energy and focus back again on what will give the most payoff to me, my loved ones, and my students. Isn’t it interesting that I found this today on the Fifty-Something Women blog (but I’m 45). Sounds like too many of us:

Researchers at Stanford University Medical Center are saying that Internet-addiction is a more widespread problem than people may think. They say that 1 in 8 Americans shows at least one sign of problematic Internet use.

They also pointed out that it isn’t just pornography and gambling sites that people are addicted to but other sites as well. They cite computer users’ strong drive to check email, shop online, visit web sites and chat rooms and write on their blogs as other signs of possible compulsive behavior.

Scary. (No one in my life has ever called me addictive or compulsive, she says sarcastically.) So I’ve deleted my Twitter account and unsubscribed to about half my blog feeds this morning already. I’ll be meditating on what should be deleted next. I’m not going to quit trying new things in my classroom, nor am I going to swear off the internet. I’m just going to. slow. it. down. I’m sure you understand.