“Deal with it Bovill.” A Reflective Classroom Teacher 10

The next couple of blogs are not intended to reflect negativism about the teaching profession. I loved teaching and I loved the students I taught, but there are some difficult aspects of the profession that cannot be ignored. As one of my principals said to me in my early years of teaching, “deal with it Bovill.” I did, and so have many of you.
Is it possible, that some parents simply do not know how, or are unwilling to parent correctly? Is it possible that some parents bring children into this world and then refuse to love them because they are too busy loving and providing for themselves? Sad to say, the answer to both questions is yes.
Surely we have all noticed how many of today's students are so self-absorbed and narcissistic in their attitudes. This has always been a characteristic of the young but the degree of self-adoration has risen to new heights and does not appear to have reached its apex. Do not make the mistake of placing the blame for this attitude solely on the child. I am reminded that an apple does not fall far from the tree. Please consider the following observations.
Some parents will scour the school calendar for school-sponsored events that take place on the weekends. They are searching for opportunities to deposit their children for a few hours without any thought to their own responsibilities. As educators, we become the cheapest baby-setter in town. Between our duties as classroom teachers and surrogate parenthood, we teach children manners because their parents have neglected to model them correctly.
We teach students a set of values because they come from a home that has few. We offer sex education because some parents are too cowardly to address the issue or their life styles are so perverted, that it is impossible to for them to approach moral correctness in their own lives. We hold their children tight when they cry because no one else will. We provide free or reduced meals to some because the parents refuse employment. The school provides leisure time activities because students from these families need to escape the reality of apathy and dysfunction.
As Teachers, we must listen to parents of these children take credit for the few successes that their children have and listen to they blame when their children's fail. This type of student and this type of parent will be in the minority in your classroom; but they will be present in every school population.
There will be students in your classroom excluded by the other students. They want desperately to be a part of the student body but they are rarely included voluntarily. Attempts by you the teacher, to form an unconditional, accepting classroom, are transitory in nature and as soon as you are out of sight, the status quo is reinstated. These children never seem to make it into the inter circle of acceptance but they break their necks trying. The truth is; that is their reason for being in school. School to them is a means to an end on the social ladder of life. However, there is very little vertical movement for these children. The most they can hope for seems to be, to achieve some degree of esteem within the group that they are trying to escape from. It is the parent's responsibility to offer status to their child's life. Unfortunately, that can be negative as well as positive.
These children find it difficult to express an original thought for fear of offending and distancing themselves even further from the socially elite in the school. They are so concerned with "acceptance", that they run from controversy. They bow and scrape, fetch and humble themselves daily, seeking recognition from their perceived betters. They are never included, usually resented and barely tolerated but they never stop trying to belong. It is such a sad situation to observe but they persist day after day in this futile activity.

As teachers we are often caught in the middle of all of the above and we must "deal with it." That is a fact my freinds and that is why we teach and that is why we hold our head high when we tell others what it is we do.