You have the right to refuse to apply your rights because it is your right to do so! (Right?)

So the Marxists didn't take over, the commies didn't infiltrate, the youth of this nation weren't indoctrinated unwittingly into an irreversible cult of personality and North Korea's heinous government regime didn't supplant our own now that Obama has addressed the kids of this nation with a "you should to do well in school" speech.

But ooh, we were so close to imperialistic calamity, were we not?

Obama talked about hard work. Obama talked about personal responsibility. Obama celebrated the benefits of being well-educated. Matter of fact, with all the hoopla from the far, far right, I am surprised they didn't send out Sarah Palin or Bobby Jindal to offer a rebuttal to El Presidente' from the minority party.

Could you imagine...

Fair people of this fair country, while on one hand your Marxist Chief believes you should devotedly apply yourselves in school, we in the "real America" know that attentiveness to your own education is a right... and you have the right to refuse to apply that right because it is your right to do so! You do not have to become learned. You do not have to become skilled. You do not have to become part of the well-educated, "elitist" crowd. (Pause for big gasp from audience.) Why let them take away your constitutionally guaranteed ability to be ill-equipped to succeed? Who are they to brainwash you into believing that school is going to help? Who are they to cast aspersions against things like dropping out? Come, be one, unite and fight against this liberal tyranny!

Don't let them violate your rights because you know that if we give in on this one, soon they'll do away with the 2nd amendment, mandate abortion, create death panels and convince you that a soccer mom doesn't have the skill set to be Commander and Chief of the Armed Forces simply because she isn't all "erudite" about both national and international matters that carry significant geo-political implications for the entire planet.

Say it with me, People: You have the right to refuse to apply your rights because it is your right to do so!

(Right?)